We use the Pak-Tyer to wrap and tie our hampers with red string. This is low tech, and all the more amazing for it. We place a hamper in the opening of the machine and step on a foot pedal. A metal arm threaded with red string swings around the hamper twice and somehow ties a handy knot. It happens so fast that we can’t really see how it ties the knot. We think the Pak-Tyer is the greatest invention since slice bread.

Practical Uses for a Pineapple
– Paperweight (needs to be replaced when ripe)
– Bookends (see above)
– Hat (with strap)
– Weapon for self-defense – throw or use to ward off
– Halloween costume
– Play football when you do not have a football lying around
– Accepted as barter at many stores and restaurants
– Replace wheels on broken rolling chairs
– Stand for iPad/tablet
– Doorstop (maybe need more than one)
– Create delicious pineapple upside-down cake……fail when you realize that it is far too complicated
– Rum drinks
– Find a hill and have pineapple races. Place bets on your favorite!
– Carry it around and refer to it as your lucky pineapple
– Glue to a large pair of headphones and create a fashion statement

Special thanks to Andrew Valente for his quirky world view.